OP Gets Herself A New Pup, Unthinking BF Totally Freaks Out

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SamHaKosem
Jul 22, 2022 4:00 PM EDT

Young love is a beautiful thing, no? Alright, alright, let us amend that statement. Young love is a beautiful thing when both parties know how to communicate and are focused on building a healthy, positive future together. Is that better? It sounds nice, right? Well, unfortunately for one young woman who turned to Reddit this week, that is a far, far cry from what's going on in her love life. Here's the situation: OP and her boyfriend have been together for a whopping three years already, and they're both just 21! Those are some formative years to spend together, so hopefully they'd have learned how to express themselves when they're disappointed by now. Unfortunately, as you might already be able to tell by our tone, that's not what happened in this situation. 

After a few discussions throughout the years about getting a dog when they moved in together, OP started realizing that that prospect was well away on the horizon. So, she pivoted and began asking her boyfriend if he'd be alright with her getting her own dog. And, at first, he agreed. But, all of a sudden, once OP pulled the trigger and got herself her pooch, this gaslighting scrub started hammering her for doing it without his permission! As if she needs permission to do what she wants in life! OP was not only insulted, but confused, and rightfully so. If you're planning on spending your life with a person, that is not the type of reaction you'd expect when you go to do something that makes you happy. So, she turned to Reddit to see how they felt about the situation, and the rest is all history. You can see for yourself what the people of Reddit had to say right down below! Enjoy! 

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  • 01

    These Two Have Some Big Plans

    Font - I (21F), and bf (21M), have been together for 3 years. I absolutely adore animals, particularly dogs. He is in the army, and I just moved interstate to be closer. Previously we chose a breed for if we were to have one together, a samoyed. I also asked if he would be open to the idea of me getting my own dog while we lived separately, and if we moved in together, he didn't have to take care of it or have any responsibility if he didn't want to, I asked because he made it clear he wasn't re
    via u/throwaway1294944

    After a few years of dating, these two decided to start talking about the future. Sounds like the time to do it, no? But, it seems like all of their discussions are tinged with this weird, red flag-esque color. Why is he so obsessed with OKing her decisions? This already sounds a little unhealthy to us. 

  • 02

    Uh-Oh, Now We See The Problem

    Font - End of April I was financially, physically and otherwise able and ready. I knew it would be difficult moving with one, but at the same time had come up with solutions. I called my bf one night and was trying to check if he was still ok if I got my own dog first. He shut me down instantly, before I could say much and said "no, no, no, OP, no, you're not getting a dog, no". When I tried to talk about my reasoning, he continued saying no and wouldn't let me speak. Long story short. I went wi
    via u/throwaway1294944

    This is pretty disgusting behavior by OP's boyfriend. If you significant other is trying to explain themselves to you, the last thing in the world you should be doing is shutting them down and refusing to let them speak. The only way a relationship can grow is through communication, and it looks like these two have hit a pretty major impasse. 

  • 03

    What's His Deal?

    Font - I have since moved, bf has met him. It has been brought back up the circumstances of when I got him. And how he was right because he is aggressive and not the "perfect dog", and how I got him out of spite, and that he thought he was right I shouldn't have gotten one. I argued that he unilaterally made a decision, whilst I was trying to discuss it with him like a partner should, and tried to include him and check he was still ok with our previous agreement. He says he has no memory of this
    via u/throwaway1294944
  • 04

    What Are We Thinking?

    Font - He basically had a go at me accusing me of using him or relying on him financially (I have never asked for money, except I once previously did to help for the move, which was to be closer to him. And even recently told him I didn't want the other half of it when he offered to pay it and didn't take it. That is the only money I have ever received from him). I admit, I told him to shove it where it don't shine for calling me a gold digger. He says that's not what he said or meant, and the a
    via u/throwaway1294944
  • 05

    Pet Tax

    Dog
    via u/throwaway1294944
  • 06

    Like A Whole Flag Pole

    Font - magnus_the_fish. 3 days ago Certified Proctologist [21] Am I interpreting it correctly that you weren't living together when you got a dog? If so, you're definitely NTA and your bf is acting like an arsehole with serious control issues. Even the way he shut you down was controlling and disrespectful. These are pretty big red flags. Reply Give Award Share Report Save Follow 2.2k throwaway1294944 OP 3 days ago Yes, we never have lived together so far and have no immediate plans to do so. 1.
    via u/magnus_the_fish
  • 07

    This Seems Pretty Toxic TBH

    Font - Millie Hillie 3 days ago Asshole Enthusiast [8] Him saying that he 'doesn't remember the conversation' and later after him essentially calling you a gold digger that that 'wasn't what he said or meant' is gaslighting behaviour. He has no right to tell you what you can and can't do especially since you are not living together. NTA Hopefully you can work with your puppo to get him a little more used to men. Reply Give Award Share Report Save Follow 478
    via u/MillieHillie
  • 08

    Buh-Bye Boyfriend

    Font - Olivia-Clara 3 days ago Partassipant [1] ΝΤΑ 1. You are not yet committed enough for him to have a say in your personal decisions. (Like adopting a dog) 2. Him calling you a gold digger should be enough for you to dump him. Wtf. 168 Reply Give Award Share Report Save Follow
    via u/Olivia-Clara
  • 09

    Lol Re-Home The BF

    Font - No-Serve3491. 3 days ago Partassipant [3] NTA and re-home the BF. 4 75 Reply Give Award
    via u/No-Serve3491
  • 10

    Sounds Like OP Was Pissed

    Font - Kari-kateora 3 days ago Pooperintendant [58] You don't live together and have no plans of doing so soon, and you agreed to having a dog together. If my partner made such emphatic statements about what I can or can't do in my own home while we don't live together, I'd be pissed. NTA. 53 Reply Give Award Share Report Save Follow
    via u/Kari-kateora

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